Now that Christmas is over....on with another year!

     So here we are at the end of 2010 and the cusp of 2011. Did you all have a wonderful Christmas? I hope so! We certainly did!
     I've come a long way in my understanding of things this year. I used to be blissful in my ignorance of some things and have learned my lesson about others. I know now to accept things with a grain of salt and to guard my heart much better than I used to.
And I'm thankful. Thankful for the family and friends who have been loyal and to those that I will always be loyal to. Thankful for the new and wonderful friendships that I have been blessed with this year and the old friendships that have become SO MUCH stronger as well. I'm so grateful for my husband who has put up with a lot of stress and emotions this year...it will pay off in the end I'm sure of it! And i'm thankful to my wonderful parents for all they have given to us. And to my amazing in-laws who have been so resilient and strong! I'm thankful that my husband and I can count ourselves among the employed as well!
This year a lot has happened and changed and I know it is for the better. Much of it has hurt as growing pains always do, but even though a lot has changed it has opened my eyes and taught me much. And I am grateful to God for what I have learned and what we have been through.
     I'm sure that you are all looking back on your year 2010 as well and looking forward to 2011 and for all that will come. I do wish for myself and for all of you that you have more happiness than heartache; that you grow more than you retreat; that you learn some healthy lessons; and that you have more love than you've ever had before!
    Here are some Christmas moments!

Posting this a little late but needs to be said

     On Friday of last week I heard something very disturbing on the morning news. A high school about a half hour away from me was putting on the play "The Laramie Project"--a play about Matthew Shepherd, the young man who was tortured and murdered for being gay in 1998. A church from Kansas decided that wherever this play was being produced, they would picket. They stated in an interview that "you may not talk about God without talking about his hatred."
     First of all, let me say, that as a high school teacher, I give major credit to the students of that high school. Most kids are afraid of homosexuality because it is different. They are just as scared of being different as any person on the social edges and if they say that homosexuality is okay, or tolerated, then they are setting themselves up as well. Kids are scared of having the spotlight on themselves but those kids that participated in that play are amazing for volunteering to be center stage on an issue that is so controversial!
     Now, I am disgusted by that Church. I am a Christian. I am proud to be a Christian. But I am not proud that those people call themselves Christians too. Jesus would tell them to go home. He did in the Bible when the prostitute was being persecuted for her sins. He told them that if they were without sin they could throw the first stone (John 8:2-11 ). This is the Jesus I know and follow. When Jesus came to earth this is what He said to us: "As for the person who hears my words but does not keep them, I do not judge him. For I did not come to judge the world, but to save it." John 12:47
     Jesus sits on the throne of judgment. I do not. Judges that are appointed by the governing courts of a country are entitled to judge. I am not.
     Jesus told me to love. He said "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." (John 13:34)
     So why are there Christians out there preaching this message of hate? It makes me sad. It makes me really sad. It makes me really sad for Matthew Shepherd and his family and friends. It makes me really sad for anyone who has been a victim of a hate crime. It makes me really sad for people out there who struggle with their sexuality and feel condemned by Christians.
     The majority of us don't hate you. God did not teach us a message of hate. God taught us to love you. God did not teach us a message of judgment. It is not our job to judge.
     I'm not going to get into my beliefs on the subject because that is not the point of this post. The point is--this church full of Christians from Kansas should look at themselves before they preach "God's message of hate." As Christians we should daily preach God's message of love. As I remember very clearly, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
     This scripture does not include a footnote that says, "except for homosexual people" it says "the world." So we must love all the people in the world too, even if we don't agree, even if we don't like someone, even if someone's moral choice are not our own. It doesn't matter. We must love the whole entire population because God did and told us to as well.
Here is the link to the article: http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2010/10/28/as_framingham_high_stages_controversial_play_a_teachable_moment/

Crazy Days are here again!

     It never ceases to amaze me! Christmas time rolls around and busy becomes the norm! I'm not just talking about our schedules, right ladies? I'm talking about our brains, our bodies, our everything is set to Go, Go, Go! As I'm sitting here and typing this quick little post, I have three to five to twenty things and thoughts and to-do's running through my head. From when I am going to buy so and so's present to when are the bills due to when do I need to mail in that stuff so my student loans are on forbearance until I'm done my five years teaching low-income kids....to wrap the presents, to make out the Christmas cards....and the list goes on and on and on.
     No offense to the men out there, but women are forever multi-tasking and taking on the stress of the family. Every night I come home and make dinner, make sure the bills are paid and make sure all of the mail is opened and organized. I'm not saying my husband doesn't do anything, he empties the dishes, puts the laundry away, makes sure the pellet stove is in good working order (and keeping me warm!) to many other tasks around the house. However, women do tend to bear the brunt of the multi-tasking, stressful duties around the house. Now my husband would say, but you wanted to use your bank, so you have to pay the bills. Yes, I did take that responsibility on, he is right...however, it has been four years, when will that deal end?
     My point is, for many years the woman was the homemaker. Her job was to manage the home and the children and make sure everything in the business of Home was taken care of. Now, many of us aren't just homemakers, we are teachers, doctors, lawyers, hairdressers, you name it, we are it. And because of this, there is much more stress on women today than ever before. Nevermind the fact that this world moves at an unGodly pace and there is much more stress on EVERYONE than ever before. No wonder heart disease is the number one killer of women, no wonder inferility is on the rise. We make ourselves sick with stress, and worry, and all of the nastiness that our modern lives entail.
     As a modern, working wife and homemaker (because even though I'm a teacher, I make a home as well), I urge you--all of you stressed out overworked women. Stop. Take 20 minutes and read a book. Take a bath. Take a breath if that is all you have time for. And pat yourselves on the back. Because before you know it--it will be January 1st and we will have 11 months to prepare for next year's onslaught of stress, chaos and how the heck can I buy that person a present too????!!!!!

Frustration turns into Calm

    I was just so frustrated with a situation that my husband and I are dealing with now and was ready to chop someones head off. I made a call, left a message and within a few minutes I got a call back from someone who was able to quickly calm my fears, my stress and my anxiety. I have known this woman since High School, and she was always one of the nicest, sweetest girls I know and to see her turn into this reassuring, calming, sweet women is such a blessing! I love when living angels come to us to show us God's grace and mercy! I voiced my fears, my frustrations and my concerns and my friend was able to more me towards the resolution that I felt was the leading of God! It is so amazing to feel the peace wash over you as you trust in His plan for everything!

Some things I learned

     This weekend has become a testament to the strength of love and how sincerity and strength and perseverance can push that love beyond a stumbling block to making you productive, full of joy and on the way to some good old fashioned healing and reconnecting!
     I also learned that we had WAY too much stuff crammed into my husband's closet and it felt so nice to clean it out, organize it and store it neatly in space bags (which are so fun to use!) You can actually walk in his closet now and see the floor--I forget what color that rug was!
     And I also learned that it is so special to have friends who are as excited for you as you are for yourself!

Thank you my loves for a wonderful weekend!

I am creative, not crafty!

     So my husband and I made a trip to Loew's tonight. We made a deal that I would look at ALL of the wonderful home improvement things while he looked at all of the wonderful tools. So I looked at many Christmas magazine while he drooled over tools and one of them made me roll my eyes. The crafts for Christmas were perfect, but took up so much time...things that Stepford Wives would endeavor. When we are chasing away the days trying to get all of the normal life things done, where is the time to be that perfect?
     Here's the thing, I believe that crafts are fun, but I don't take time for them because I would much rather spend time with my husband, friends, and family. I do like small crafts that I can do while watching TV in the living room with the hubby, but I tried the craft thing for a while and it kind of fizzles when I got married.
     Now saying that, if you love crafts, go for it! All the power to you. Its a great endeavor, but it is time consuming. I did find a Better Homes and Gardens "food gifts" magazine that had fun make yourself gifts that were much more reasonable (time wise and money wise) and I definitely plan on giving some of these away as gifts! But I will let you perfectionists and Type-As out there try the more time consuming magazines--I'm sticking with the make it in an evening kind of things!

Wordless Wednesday

 

Kids are great!

The other night my 2 and half year old nephew picked up my sister's cell phone, dialed my number and before I even answered, handed the phone to my sister and said "Its Lala."

Go figure. He is not even three and he can figure out how to call me. I'm sure it has to do with the fact that he has 3 big brothers and they were all very precocious as well.

When my 13 year old nephew was 5, his father was driving him to the house for me to babysit all three of the big boys and his dad looks back and says, "Boys, please behave for Rachel tonight" The 13 yr old (5 then) says, "Dad, we prefer Lala."

Out of the mouths of babes!

I can't wait to hear what they say next and I can't wait for the day when my own children silence me with their witty and precocious comments!

Here is to kids, God Bless them!

Update

Just an update on everything.

My friend felt a lot of comfort this weekend during her Grandfather's funeral, so if you prayed it was felt and we are all thankful.

Everything is going well for us! We need more prayer between Wednesday and Friday so it is definitely appreciated!!!!

I was definitely tired on Sunday and things bettered themselves quickly so that was great!

Once again if you need prayer leave a comment! God Bless!

Prayers Please

     My best friend's family just lost their grandfather this week. He was a great man, funny, kind, sweet, loving and always their to give you a wink and nudge! What a light-hearted wonderful man he was! We knew that he was going to pass away soon and God gave her family the gift of one more week with him where he was lucid and awake and able to tell them how much they meant. Please pray for his 7 children, 14 grandchildren and countless children in-laws and others who will miss Pape's. We love you!
     Another friend is going through a crisis as well. I don't know major details because I haven't been able to get a mutual friend on facebook this week, but please just pray for her healing and comfort in this trial in her life.
     This weekend my husband and I are also awaiting big things,  please keep us in your prayers as well! (Especially on Sunday morning!)
     If anyone has prayer requests, leave them here so we can all pray together for the needs of God's people.


I hope everyone has a great weekend and we will keep you posted on the big things!!!
God Bless!

Phillipians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Election Day

     Well, as I sit here tonight after cleaning out my desk (yay! I finally got it done!) I am watching the election results and wonder why you voted today. I voted to protect myself and my family from higher taxes and the loss of public services and as always I voted because my vote matters! As a Christian, many people automatically assume that I vote Republican. And I know that many Christians do vote Republican and that is fine for them. But as I have grown and matured, I see more issues than just Pro-Choice or Pro-Life. Yes, I believe babies are babies from the moment they are conceived. But I also believe that as God gave me free will, he gave all of us free will and we can't make the hard choices for everyone else...it isn't my business...I'm just here to tell you what I believe and why (if you ask) and you can make your own decision. So with that said, this is my little political ditty and then you won't hear it from me again.
     I am an independant. I do not believe as a member of a middle-income, working class family that the Republican party has my best interest at heart. Therefore, I do not vote on party lines, I vote on issues and who stands closest to my beliefs on an issue. I do tend to lean to the left but that is because I find the Left is more about people than business and more supportive of social issues. The Left seems to want to take better care of this country's people--they are not for free hand-outs--they are for helping people when they are down. And I do know that people take advantage of that, but when the Right is in power business gets  A LOT of free hand-outs and they definitely take advantage. Anyway, I like my money in my pocket and unlike the wealthiest 1% of our citizens--I NEED my money in my pocket--so why would I vote for people that have money and like protecting their friends who have money?
     Now onto the point that Republicans are Christians and Democrats are not...first off..I don't know what anybody is. Someday we will all know who is and who isn't when we meet them in Heaven. Someday, we will all stand before God Himself and He will tell us if we've done right or wrong. So I am not to judge. Because maybe that Democrat that you are voting against is a God-fearing, Born-Again, Christian Soul and you are voting against who God wants in office. I do not, nor have I ever, voted based on Religion. I also try not to talk badly about anyone who was voted into office because civil government is necessary and divinely ordained by God (Rom. 13:1–7), it is ultimately under God’s control. So we will vote and God will move those that He will to vote for His Will to put the people in office that need to be there. I truly believe that whatever happens, God is in control and He knows the ultimate outcome--He is afterall the one who wrote the book!
     So please, if you talk among your family and friends about this election--or any election--please do not assume that because someone is a Christian they are Republican, and don't assume that someone who isn't a Republican isn't a Christian--because both assume that you know a person's inner thoughts and soul and well none of us know that! Hope you voted because one vote does make a difference! And last but not least and probably one of the most important points--God Bless America!

Heartfelt and touching blog post from a Sister in Christ

http://achocolatebouquet.blogspot.com/2010/10/take-time-to-evaluate.html

I just read this post and I know it is very meaningful in my life, so please check it out and see if God touches your heart with it too.

Dyslexia Conference

     I went to a conference on Dyslexia yesterday with my wonderful colleagues from Bay Path College! It was definitely worth giving up a whole Saturday! Rick Lavoie was the key note speaker--he is one of the most engaging and inspirational speakers I have ever had the pleasure to watch. Rick is also the creator of a very famous 20 year old video called F.A.T. City that is a PBS special and has been viewed thousands of times by more than thousands of people.
    The reason why Rick is so inspiring and can stand up and talk to a captivated audience for 3 and 1/2 hours is that he shares knowledge that you can actually use in everyday situations. We sat there entertained by his anecdotes and jokes and learn the myths of motivation and what you can do to motivate your students. I thought to myself, finally, someone who actually has something to say! More often than not speakers get up and talk and talk and talk and really say nothing at all. At my graduation for my Masters our keynote speaker was the man who founded Yankee Candle. His story had a lot of potential to be inspiring but in the end all he did was promote himself. Rick Lavoie is the exact opposite, he tells relevant, interesting stories that have everything to do with inspiration and have nothing to do with promotion.
     Our afternoon sessions were wonderful as well. I learned a lot about executive function skills (the 'organizer' of our brains) and I got many great strategies to bring back to my classroom, especially from Sarah Ward who is for all intents and purposes an expert in the field.
They day went by very quickly and I really enjoyed myself and I definitely bought Rick's book! I'll let you know how it is when I am finished reading it! (the book is called The Motivation Breakthrough). I am including links to the two speakers' websites if any of you teacher folk want to jump on over there!
http://www.ricklavoie.com/
http://www.executivefunctiontherapy.com/

Just found this!

 Just found a giveaway for a carrier from this company (www.bobababycarrier.com) on Jolly Mom's blog (www.jollymom.com).

It is for a $100 baby/child carrier for free! Check is out! 

Forgiveness

     Today at Church, a woman mentioned a vision God gave her while the Pastor was praying for me last week. She saw God healing my heart. The Pastor was praying for God to forgive my sins. At first it doesn't seem related but if you consider what was happening last week--the two are very interconnected.
     I was hurting last week and holding a lot of anger in my heart. Well anger is a sin...so even if the person who did wrong to you hasn't asked for forgiveness you must put your anger away and forgive them...so I needed to forgive the people that hurt me and move on.
     Well God usually gives me the gift of getting over things quickly. I usually move on within the day or by the next morning. This, logically, is for many reasons. One, why stay mad when it is only hurting yourself. Second, I have better things to do than to boil in my own rage. And third, when it comes down to it, most of the time, it isn't worth seething over. However, in the more recent situation, of course I was going to be angry and hurt for much longer. It was getting to the point, where I felt worthless and on more than one occasion, I needed my husband's reassurance that I wasn't a bad person and I was worthy of being treated well in my relationships. I mean, my gosh, Jesus sacrificed himself for me, I must be worth something right? But I didn't feel it. So last Friday night when I went to Church for that healing service, I was feeling LOW...I mean, the LOWEST of the LOW....and I cried--a lot.
     But something happened, I went home and made up with my husband (because of course I take my feelings out on him) and then I felt empowered and spoke to some of the people I felt hurt by. And even though I do not think these people will be in my life anymore (which is sad on one hand and okay on the other), I have forgiven them...even if they didn't specifically ask for my forgiveness it didn't matter. It mattered that my heart was healed and whole again. It mattered that I knew what I was worth and it mattered that God forgave me of my anger towards them. I pray for all of the other people involved, that they are able to heal and forgive as well. And I pray for you as well if you need to forgive someone in your life...it is not an easy thing to do, but if you don't, it won't matter to the other person, it only eats you upset inside. And who wants to be torn up like that?

Italian Night!

     I am going over a dear friend's house tonight for Italian night. We were going to go out to dinner, but they are saving for a house, we are saving to redo our bathroom and another couple is saving up to move, so we all decided that it would nice to have a theme night in!
     It worked out perfectly because the three of us girls LOVE to cook. We are of the mind that you show your love for others through food. So I made a lovely lasagna using the recipe on the back of the Healthy Harvest Lasagna box. It is funny but this is the best recipe I have found for lasagna. It has gotten such rave reviews from my family that now that is the recipe that my mother and sister use as well! There is never and uneaten leftover from this lasagna!
     We are so looking forward to a night with good friends and good food! It is always nice to reconnect to the people in your life that mean something to you. It it such a wonderful experience and blessing!

Dogs can be like children...

     Sorry, but I dont have children yet, but my dogs are often like children. Right now my husband is wrestling with a wet, 30 lb., standard, long-haired daschund who has had a belly ache for two days and has made an impression not only in the bathroom but also in the bedroom...twice. Last night she decided she had to go, bad. She jumped up from the couch and instead of barking at me (I was still up) she high-tailed it into the bedroom where my husband was fast asleep. She then proceeded to bark once and go on the rug. Why? Who knows. So, being the nice wife that I am, I put down my snowman cross-stitch project and went to the rescue. Today my hubby is returning the favor by bathing our dirty little girl and once again making her pretty.
     This is definitely not the first incident where the dogs have behaved in a child-like manner. The other dog puked in our bed, right at my feet around 3 a.m. once...the puke went through the two comforters and the sheet and right onto my feet...so fun!
     They wake us up by staring at us and putting their paws on our faces. They need to go to the vets at the most inconvenient of times. When one gets sick, the other follows suit shortly after. They need our love 24/7. They whine, they beg, and they hate bath time.
     Now I know my dogs do not require as much attention as children. But they still do require a big committment. And they really do know how to create inconveniences.
     However, unlike children, my dogs are forever loyal, are always happy to see us when we get home, they want to cuddle and kiss us 24/7, they only eat once/day and their clothing budget is nearly none (yes they do have clothes though LOL). My dogs will never grow up and go off to college (no college tuition yay!) but their lives are much shorter than we would like. Yet they have been my children for five years and even when God does bless us with human children, my dogs will continue to have my heart, because we all must face it, they are awfully cute!

And now something happy for a change!

    I just want to let you all know how great it feels sometimes to be a teacher. I teach children with emotional, psychological and behavioral disabilities and it is a struggle most of the time. But I was reminded today why I do it.
    Okay, so here is the back story. Last year, when I started at this school, one of the students in my homeroom decided to test me (well more than one, but this student in particular). He and I never really struggled to get along, but when he did earn consequences in my class, he would act out in a childish manner--like breaking my container of colored pencils or dumping my plants on the ground (he doesn't act this way with anyone else.) I know some of you may be sitting at home and reading this and thinking that there is too much emotional involvement in this teacher-student relationship...but here is the thing...with these kids, if they don't respect and care about you--you will never reach them. So while we don't tell the kids too much about our lives, we invest so much of ourselves in them. It is the only way we can be successful at this job.
     Anyway...so this student knows I am there for him, and he knows he can depend on me. When I hurt my back and was out for two weeks, this student was one of the first to come to my class and want to visit (he is no longer in my homeroom.)
     Today, I covered Culinary for a few minutes and brought this student into the cafeteria to put something in the freezer..and out of the blue he looked at me and said "I am going to miss you next year when I'm gone." (He is a successful high school student--he is graduating with the highes GPA in our school) Now to some of you who work with kids like this, you know how big of an accomplishment this is for the STUDENT....not for me. This kid doesn't trust people, he doesn't know how to behave in society most of the time, he struggles with impulse control and a lot of other things...and for him to admit that to anyone ever took a lot of growth and strength. So I salute that student today...and I salute kids like him everywhere who get dealt a crappy hand way before they should ever have to face reality..and I especially thoese kids who despite the crap they have been dealt have utilized the supports that have been set up for them and become successful (even if it just means admitting that you will miss someone). All kids are special and they all deserve our love and respect (not just the 'good' kids, but the ones who have been hurt or forgotten along the way...they didn't choose the life they have...lets help them change it for the better.)

Sometimes people are hurtful

     I have some friends who it turns out have been complaining about me behind my back. I'm obviously not going to name names here because thats not right. And I'm not going to speak badly about them...because I never had a bad thing to say about them...I usually don't have a bad thing to say about anyone.
     One of these people said that she prayed for me, that she always prayed for me and that we were sisters in Christ. And yes, we are both Christian that is true. But how can you pray for someone and call them a sister in Christ but then complain about them behind their back?
     And another friend commented on my Friends post and said how nice it was and asked what it was about..so I emailed her and told her and never got an email back...
     I really do not like drama, and I really don't like when people speak badly about myself or anyone else. As women we all have issues to deal with. Stress and frustrations and concerns...we have so much of that from life in general. And we all have something about ourselves that make us self-conscious...even the most beautiful women have self-esteem issues. That is part nature and part society. And with society always telling us we aren't good enough, why do we need to have people in our lives telling us that too? I didn't think I did have toxic people in my life. I thought I had friends that were so close I could consider them family..and some of them are that close...but I didn't know that others felt the way they do about me and it hurts.
     And are there that many problems with me really? Do I have that many flaws in my personality? And yes we all have some bad habits or small character flaws, but aren't the people that care about you supposed to overlook those little flaws and love you in spite of them? Because that is what I do...
     So, what is your opinion? Am I wrong about how friends are supposed to act and if this happened to you wouldn't you feel hurt and betrayed? I just don't think it is right to hurt people like this...

God Moves

     I just got home from a Praise, Worship and Healing evening at Church. At the very end of the service the Pastor turns to me and says, "Young lady will you please come up here?" Yeah....God called me out. He knew I needed prayer, He knew I needed guidance and love and movement in my life. So He called me out in a room full of strangers. And then I remembered, those strangers are really my family in Christ. And they love me, because Jesus died on the Cross for me--for all of us--to make us a family.
     Like the leper, I needed God's touch tonight. I didn't receive any specific word, or direction and we didn't see a great healing or lightning or a dove. But I felt love. And love is what I needed.
     I grew up in a Church filled with the movement of the Holy Spirit and I spent 5 months in YWAM watching people be healed and be saved. But all that happened years ago. It has been a long time since I have felt God move personally in my life--and tonight He did and thats all He wanted to do, was to let me know that He stills moves in my life and He is still invested in me. I missed Him and I was lonely. Sometimes we are in a desert and we're supposed to be there for some reason. And when the rain comes it is amazing.
     This has been a hard week. I don't ever let on when I'm upset...I do, but not in healthy ways. I don't let it affect me because I'm used to letting everything roll off my back. But this week, people who were supposed to be my friends have disowned me, people I trusted broke my trust, people who I never said a bad word about spoke badly of me....people who I thought were worth it, said that I wasn't. And on top of all that, I'm hormonal, and moody and struggling with my hurt back. And then hubby and I are struggling because I'm moody and hormonal and struggling with my back...its all connected right?
     And God loves me so much, that He called me out and let me cry in front of strangers, who prayed for me, and laid hands on me, and were generous with blessing me...because God knew that I needed to know that I was worth something. He is so amazing and wonderful and perfect in all He does. I am so thankful that He is my God and my Savior and my Lord. He is the Prince of Peace and the King of Kings and the greatest Healer the world has ever known. And He died on a Cross for little old me...amazing.

Hmmmm....

     Did you ever arrive somewhere, just to ask yourself "How did I get here?" This could be about a car ride, a walk, a place or a moment in your life. Lately I've been asking myself this more and more. And it isn't always a bad thing when I ask myself. It could be something as simple as having a nice lunch with a friend and you wonder, how did I get so lucky to have such a good friend?
     There have been a lot of changes in my world recently. From graduating with a Master's degree to planning a family, to even buying new furniture things have changed very rapidly this passed year. They say that the first year of marriage is hard--for us it was a breeze. They say that when you have children its hard--well we aren't there yet. But sometimes things in life can just stress a marriage out. And some days we are at that point where we asked ourselves..how did we get here? How did a silly conversation turn into a fight? How did a conversation a week ago about the dishes case the evening to end so badly? How did the traffic that we are sitting in turn into us not talking to each other through the entire store? Stress in a marriage is natural and there are ups and downs. We have been together long enough to know that sometimes we will hit a rough patch, there will be a whole week where we fight everyday and then there will be a great patch where we don't fight for months and we are so in love during those times. When we get to that point where we say "How did we get here?" Whether it be good or bad, sometimes we forget to reflect back on the journey that led us to that good point or that bad point. And we forget that we get through our bad parts and move onto those parts that make our marriage as amazing as it is.
     So I sit here in the kitchen and wonder, how did I get here? Somedays I ask Why am I so tired? or How did I get so lucky? And tonight its, why am I so tired? why am I blogging instead of cooking dinner? how did teasing become an argument? and is my friend coming to worship with me tonight? We ask ourselves so many questions throughout the day. Sometimes we need to lay it at the foot of the Cross. Sometimes we need to take a break and be mindless so we don't drive ourselves crazy with the questions. And sometimes we need to examine how we got somewhere.
     For us, we struggle sometimes because we spent two years of our marriage with me in grad school and we are still majorly getting outselves back into rhythm. We also struggle because we walked out of a "lets just live our lives" phase into "wife in grad school" phase into a "planning" phase. We really enjoyed living with the come what may attitude and now we are trying to adjust. So we struggle, we bicker, sometimes we argue. But we make up everytime and we figure it out. And once the "planning" phase is over we will be able to look back and ask "how did we get here?" and we will cherish the journey and smile.

Thankful Thursday

I had a very quiet day at school today. There were angry students, there always are because I work in a behavioral school. But compared to most days, it was quiet. And I am so thankful for the peace!


I am thankful for my strong husband who is moving the pellets in the basement as we speak!
I am thankful that we can afford to spend the money on pellets (because it is a large once/year expense that saves money and the environment!)


I am thankful for my health, when you have an injury, you remember how much you take your health for granted.


I am thankful that my husband and myself have secure jobs. I am thankful that my sister had a job interview this week! (Good luck!)


I am thankful that my entire family (in-laws too!) are healthy and happy and are able to provide for those they love!


I thank God that every once in a while I am in the position to pour blessings out on others as I have been blessed! (And I know that I couldn't give blessing if God hadn't given me blessings!)


I hope you are blessed today and are able to take a moment and reflect on what you have to be thankful for!
I know what I am thankful for right now might be some mundane things, but in this hard cold world that we live in the little everyday things are important now!

God's Love for Us

http://www.incourage.me/2010/10/holy-dance.html

I just read this post today and it touched my heart. How many of us walk through life, day in and day out and forget that God loves us?

Take a moment right now and listen to His voice. He whispers to us all day long and we, being the busy little humans that we are, forget to listen. This wonderful post reminds to do just that. Americans are probably some of the busiest people in the world and we rarely have time to listen to those that are right in front of us. Kids calling to us, "Mommy, Mommy" or in my case "Miss, Miss." Husbands, wives, friends, parents, nieces and nephews, bosses, coworkers, all day long we are bombarded from the people in our lives and the media and advertising, and music. We tend to block out half of what is right in front of us...no wonder we forget to listen to our still and silent Creator. Yet he is there, whispering, encouraging, sending little signs, and sometimes when we are lucky, yelling and knocking us over the head with a message.

So today, take my post as a sign. God is talking to you and He wants you to listen. He is telling you that He loves you, He cares for you, He wants to talk to you, He longs to be at the forefront of your life. Don't forget about Him, because He never forgets about you.

God Bless and look for the Sunset because our Jesus did that and that is a glorious thing!

So let us call today Whispering Wednesday and remember who whispers in our ear!

Here is a blog hop! Come join the fun!

As a plan to get more traffic I have joined a blog hop! Hop on with us!

Tuesday Tales

Stress!    
 So as I mentioned in a previous post, I hurt my back at work. Now no one ever told me how confusing worker's compensation was. There is all this 60/40 stuff with insurance covering 60% of my salary and 40% coming from my sick time...etc...etc...and once I run out of sick time, my company pays my health insurance but then I do a pay back thing, etc...etc...This is my opinion. I got hurt doing my job. I got hurt carrying out the duties assigned to me. Shouldn't my company pay for it all? Why am I going to be the one to be worrying in a few weeks? Shouldn't they be worrying? This makes me want to get back to work right away despite my injury because, lets face it. The pain in my back is much more bearable than the pain in the butt that worker's comp seems to be! Anyone have any thoughts on worker's compensation and any experience with it? Feel free to comment!

One favorite Fall Recipe
Every fall there are a few recipes that I make because they warm the soul.
Today, I've decided to share my recipe for Corn Chowder.
If you have any wonderful fall recipes feel free to share under comments!

Corn Chowder

6 Cans of Creamed Corn

1 Cup of Frozen Corn

1 Pint Fat-free (or Low Fat) Half and Half

1 Package of Bacon (Chopped)

1 Large Russet Potato

1 Cup Chopped Onions

2 Tablespoons margarine or butter

Salt and Pepper to taste

Cinnamon to taste

Put first three ingredients in a large soup pot. Simmer on low. Add the seasoning as it simmers.

Cook bacon and onions in a large frying pan with one tablespoon margarine on medium.

Chop the potato and cook it in the microwave to soften for 3-5 minutes.

Add it to the frying pan and cook on medium until bacon is fully cooked and potatoes are slightly brown (5-10 minutes).

Add the mixture from the frying pan to the soup and cook on medium to low for one hour. The goal is to have the soup bubble just slightly so it reduces and becomes very creamy.

I always serve this with fresh bread from the bread maker and a very large spoon! Enjoy!

PT!
I finally have appointments set up for physical therapy! I am looking forward to feeling better and working on strenghtening my back so I don't have to go through this ever again! Thank God that this is finally settled!

Friends...

     It has come to my attention that there has been some drama surrounding friendships in my group of friends. I will speak to what a friend is..because I believe it needs some clarification...
      I know not of what a friend isn't, but I know a lot about what a friend is. A true friend will be your cheerleader when you need them on your side. A true friend will never say a bad thing about you behind your back--if they need to talk to you about something they always will. A true friend (like a true love) will love you in spite of your faults--they will never expect you to change who you are. A true friend is one who is there at every happy moment and every heartbreaking moment without being asked. A true friend is loyal to a fault and will never support an injustice against you. A true friend is never fickle. A true friend is hurt when you are hurt and mad when you are mad. A true friend will listen to your deepest thoughts, desires and wishes.  A true friend will go out of their way for you without a thought...and they will never point out that it was out of their way. A true friend will do all of this and never expect it in return--even though their true friends will do all of this for them as well...not because they have to, but because it is just what you do.
     There are many other things that true friends do, but they are too numerous to list. When I think of my true friends, I only count a few, but it is not the number of friends I have that matters. It is the quality of those friendships.
     I do not write any of these words to be spiteful, because if you really knew me, you know I am not, nor have I ever been vindictive. I do not write these words to hurt, because it has never been my goal to hurt anyone...I am not that type of person. If you know me, you know that I am heartfelt, true, loyal, unselfish, frugal, corny, klutzy, honest (to a fault), talkative when I get nervous, open, moral, faithful, God-loving and full of joy. I am always willing to admit my mistakes and I hate fighting (even if sometimes I do). I get over things quickly because in the grand scheme of life, those little tiffs don't matter. Our lives go by much too quickly to hold grudges, to be mean and hurtful, and to pretend. I have lost people that have meant the world to me and I thank God that I never was fake in any way to those people...I will never be fake, I will always be honest and I will always live my life with my whole heart.

Please pray.

I found this blog on another bloggers site and we should all pray for this man and his children. What a loss...
http://lesliejoyevans.blogspot.com/

Happy Birthday to Me!

     I just got home from a wonderful evening out with two of my dear friends and my lovely husband! We went to Big Papi's Grille and the movies (saw The Social Network). We had a great time and I am so thankful for the love (in all forms) that I have in my life. Another dear friend of mine was so thoughtful today and drove all the way to my house to give me my birthday present even though her day was full and she had a wedding to go to tonight.
     I love having the birthday that I have because it falls on a nice long weekend and its the day after my parents' anniversary. I will forever be reminded of the love they have for each other and that on the year that I was born I was their present to each other! (Corny I know, but even my parents say it, so it must be true!) So anyway, my birthday celebration isn't over yet! Tomorrow, my fabulous in-laws are throwing my birthday dinner (any meal and dessert I want--Seafood Payaya and Pumpkin Cheesecake!!!) Then on Monday, my best friend in all of the world (besides hubby) and I are going to lunch and the movies with another girlfriend!
     I love birthdays for many reasons, but the main reason is that it gives me a chance to take stock of where I am in my life and how far I have come. I look back on all of the years and look forward to the years to come. I don't know where we will be in 5 years....kids? a house? Who knows. I also love birthdays because I am reminded of everyone that stands beside me in this world and of all the people that love me. I know that no matter where I am in the future--or where I was in the past--those people were and always will be there for me. Thanks!!!!
"For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be."
– Psalm 139:13-16 (NIV)
   

So tired of being tired!

     About three weeks ago I tripped up the stairs at work..yes UP the stairs and hurt my back. I am not proud of being a klutz (I have always been a klutz by the way), but it is part of who I am. Now most of the time, I manage to trip, bump myself, and fall, gracefully and without injury, except this last time. I now have two bulging disks in my lower back and got a free and oh so fun ride in the ambulance when it happened. I was in the hospital for four days and thank all of the wonderful people who cared for me and came to visit me or wished me well!
     I am grateful that I am able to work half days and cook meals for me and my husband. But I still want my old life back. I'm not one to stop doing things and I'm not one to sit still for very long. I like to be busy and I hate when I am limited by an injury. I can't even do the dishes because the bending and twisting would leave me right back where I started. So I work from 7:45 in the morning until around 11:45-12:00 and then I come and sit and sit some more and then later, I sit more. I am sitting at 2:30 on Friday afternoon typing this and I am so frustrated that I missed a training this afternoon (even though I'd resent it if I had to go!) and I am frustrated that making a lasagna for my husband's boss's sick wife made my back ache so badly. All I want is my life back!!!!!
     I know I should be thankful that I am not injured worse than this and I should be greatful that we can still carry out our upcoming plans, but I want to feel the way I did before I fell and I want to feel that way now! Yes I sound like a chid but haven't we all felt this way once or twice? I'm just saying! Here are some ways to prevent an injury like mine.

My Journey

     Welcome to my Journey! Today God gave me a verse, Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." If you are my close friend or family you know what my husband, Rich, and I have been struggling with. You know there have been some moral dillemmas that we have had to face. When it came down to it, my want and my need dictated our decision and my loving, sweet, wonderful husband has gone along with a choice that will effect us forever. As a Christian, I never thought I would make that choice. But then again, I never thought I would have to. Now before you jump to insane crazy conclusions, I will say this...no one was harmed, no one was hurt, and nothing was stolen.
     God has always put this want and this need into the front of my thoughts. It is a promise that He has given to me. This promise is the reason why I could make the decision I made without fear. Not all Christians would go my way. I would think that many who are in the more conservative camps would fight against me. But I have faced the moral dillemma and made my determination. The fact that God has persisted in His whisperings to me, that He is still so present in this Promise....that was all that I needed to know to continue on this path.
     My husband had resevations and fears. He fought with me. He pushed back. He reasoned. But ultimately, I knew that it was his fear mainly that we needed to overcome. One of my all time favorite Scriptures says "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7. I know that many humans live their lives in fear. But I have laid my fear at the Cross and truly have been blessed by God because of it. When I hurt, when I'm in a dangerous situation, when I'm faced with a major decision, I have no fears, but I truly believe that God will lead me, He will protect me, He will heal me. And even though my husband still fears for me, he is slowly accepting my confidence in God's plan. He is leaning on my decision and my faith and will continue to do so until God has fulfilled His promise to us. 
     Someday, those who read this blog and don't know me, will know what journey I've been on, and if it was just about me, I would share it all. But my husband is a much more private person than I am, and he would not appreciate it if I told everyone our business while we were going through it. So someday, maybe you will know and you will be able to relate to my journey...but maybe the mystery will pull you in and you will cheer us on as we go!