Hmmmm....

     Did you ever arrive somewhere, just to ask yourself "How did I get here?" This could be about a car ride, a walk, a place or a moment in your life. Lately I've been asking myself this more and more. And it isn't always a bad thing when I ask myself. It could be something as simple as having a nice lunch with a friend and you wonder, how did I get so lucky to have such a good friend?
     There have been a lot of changes in my world recently. From graduating with a Master's degree to planning a family, to even buying new furniture things have changed very rapidly this passed year. They say that the first year of marriage is hard--for us it was a breeze. They say that when you have children its hard--well we aren't there yet. But sometimes things in life can just stress a marriage out. And some days we are at that point where we asked ourselves..how did we get here? How did a silly conversation turn into a fight? How did a conversation a week ago about the dishes case the evening to end so badly? How did the traffic that we are sitting in turn into us not talking to each other through the entire store? Stress in a marriage is natural and there are ups and downs. We have been together long enough to know that sometimes we will hit a rough patch, there will be a whole week where we fight everyday and then there will be a great patch where we don't fight for months and we are so in love during those times. When we get to that point where we say "How did we get here?" Whether it be good or bad, sometimes we forget to reflect back on the journey that led us to that good point or that bad point. And we forget that we get through our bad parts and move onto those parts that make our marriage as amazing as it is.
     So I sit here in the kitchen and wonder, how did I get here? Somedays I ask Why am I so tired? or How did I get so lucky? And tonight its, why am I so tired? why am I blogging instead of cooking dinner? how did teasing become an argument? and is my friend coming to worship with me tonight? We ask ourselves so many questions throughout the day. Sometimes we need to lay it at the foot of the Cross. Sometimes we need to take a break and be mindless so we don't drive ourselves crazy with the questions. And sometimes we need to examine how we got somewhere.
     For us, we struggle sometimes because we spent two years of our marriage with me in grad school and we are still majorly getting outselves back into rhythm. We also struggle because we walked out of a "lets just live our lives" phase into "wife in grad school" phase into a "planning" phase. We really enjoyed living with the come what may attitude and now we are trying to adjust. So we struggle, we bicker, sometimes we argue. But we make up everytime and we figure it out. And once the "planning" phase is over we will be able to look back and ask "how did we get here?" and we will cherish the journey and smile.