I won times 2!

So....


When I posted my last blog in March, my husband and I found out just how effective getting healthy can be! We found out right before I posted my last blog that I am pregnant! This has been a very, very long road for us. We tried fertility and that certainly didn't work and then we tried prayer. Good old fashioned, "When God wants it, it will happen." And that is exactly when we got pregnant!


So needless to say the first trimester is over now and that is why I am posting. Not because we were keeping it a deep secret as all of our friends and family already know. But because I was just so tired and out of it for those few months that my day consisted of work, nap, make dinner, eat dinner, lay on the couch and go to sleep again. This interrupted by Church stuff and going out when necessary. That was about it.


So now, I am in my thirteenth week. We have seen the baby on ultrasound twice! And heard it's little heart beat! I am full of energy again--so much so that Saturday I prepped my veggie garde, planted 13 tomato plants, two squash plants, 6 green peppers, 6 japanese eggplants and watered all 5 gardens. Plus a trip to the garden fest, Home Depot, and CVS. I did then take a 2 hour nap, but it was necessary as we then went out with our friends for dinner in Waltham!


I am down to barely any naps during the week but still going to sleep at a reasonable hour as before baby, I was a night owl and midnigh was my usual bedtime!


We have yet to make changes to the house but once we get going on baby room plans, I will keep you posted!!!

Our little munchkin (9 weeks)

It is a New Year!

    Well, we made it through 2011! I can't believe the year went by so quickly! There were a
few changes during 2011 in my life:

                       We completely gutted and refinished our bathroom (well, hubby and his buddy did.) It went from this:

To this!!!! Ta-da! It is still yellow but every wall was ripped out, insulated and re-dry walled!
     

           Our dear Pastor resigned, we started the process of setting up a search and then we were introduced to the concept of an Intentional, Interim Pastor. Pastor Ron will be joining Belmont St. Baptist Church as we start the New Year and a new chapter!
            My dear McGrath Educational Center became You Inc. Educational Day Academy as we combined out two locations! With that change I went from teaching High School English to Middle School (all four subjects!!!!). What a transition but after the combining of the schools, staffs and students and getting used to a new way of doing things, the school year is going as well as can expected for a Emotional/Behavior Disability population! And I'm having fun! I actually couldn't wait to get back to school!


     I think that is it for changes....but two of those are pretty monumental transitions and I made it through!
     So now, it is a New Year and there is much to look forward to. We plan on refinishing the big mudroom in our house. Taking a big vacation (we only went to NH in 2011). Maybe someday soon we'll be able to announce that we're having a baby--but that is up to God. Hmmm...I'm sure there will be much more happening in 2012, but that is to be determined.

A time of transition.

     Our church recently lost its Pastor. There wasn't a scandal, there wasn't major chaos...in the end after all of it was said and done, it was just time to move on. Some people have left, some are thinking of leaving and some, like myself and my husband, realize that the Church is the living entity that we want to belong to. We can't go following Pastors or hoping that the grass will be greener. We must make our grass as green as we can while we are called as member of our Church.      So we had a guest Pastor yesterday, that could be our Intentional Interim Pastor. In other words, this is what he does. He helps Churches figure out who they are and where they are going in order for them to find the right Pastor. It was an exciting service and meeting afterward. My dear hubby was very patient with the hour and a half length of the meeting (I'm sure he was itching to get out of there and get things done at home!)
     Well anyway, during this time of transition, my Bible study is doing a crash course on Psalms and the subject of tonight's session is on Renewal. I find this a very appropriate topic in regards to the Church and also to things in my life. I was not hurt by the transition at Church. If anything, it made me a stronger, more active member. I would rather get involved and help mold the Church into what God wants it to be, than turn away from it and from a group of people that I have grown to care about. I am not close to many of the women my age in Church, but to the women of the generation before me, who are some of the most wonderful, caring and intelligent women I've had the pleasure of knowing!  
     Anyway, I have been hurt by some events with friends over the past year. And unfortunately, it has been compounded by someone who I considered to be my dearest friend, deciding that this past year would be a good year for her to distance herself from me and essentially end the friendship. She has done this for reasons that she hasn't expressed to me. And now she is engaged, and I can't even share in her happiness. And I probably won't be there to see her promise her life to her fiance before God. And it makes me sad. And I miss my friend.
     So as this time of transition continues, I have to find the courage to not run away and face this issue. I am hoping there will be renewal and healing as I've seen slowly happening in my Church. It is amazing how events in your life sync together for God's purpose.

A little perfect timing...

     So after my post yesterday, and Bible study that went right along with that post last night, I come along this blog that hits the nail exactly on the head...http://www.purposefulhomemaker.com/

     Gee, God loves divine appointments and giving us signs....we just have to keep our eyes open!

Being quiet and thanking God

     I've started a Bible study this week on Psalms. The first week's lesson in on being silent before God. listening to Him and then thanking Him for all of the blessing you've received even if you are going through storms in life. I have slowly gotten into the habit of talking at God and not talking with Him. This has led to lukewarm prayer times and a feeling of disconnectedness. So last night after I completed my Bible study, cuddled with hubby during T.V. time, gotten some chores done and was finally in bed, I said the Our Father as always and then I quieted my mind, shut my mouth and sat still and quiet before God. It was hard to do but I realized I'd been waiting for God's plans for me, without listening for them. Well. how can He tell me his plans if I'm not listening?
     So I waited....and it wasn't long before God talked to me--with passion, with conviction, without condemnation but He definitely schooled me. I listened, I heard, I realized what I was totally unaware of.  I was not being totally honest with Him or with myself. I said, I will follow your plans....but I wasn't giving everything over to Him. I handed him my career, but not my marriage...not like I should. I handed him my Church life, but not my life with family and friends. And it's not like I actually controlled this stuff either. I'm the go along type. I go along with life and live it. I don't think about it, I don't consciously change anything. I just live. So sometimes listening to God opens up a whole can of worms. It gives us much to think about. It reminds us that He cares and listens to everything even when we don't think He is. We just need to give Him a chance to talk too. So I feel asleep listening to God and not talking at Him but responding to Him.
     Then I woke up, and instead of complaining that it was Monday (a little storm but one we all face every week), I thanked Him. It started my day off on a better foot. And when I realized I'd overslept by ten minutes, I wasn't angry. I just said, Oh well, shorter shower. And I went on my way. Thanking God this morning helped me focus on the positives in life and not the tiny minuscule negative things I face. Go figure.

Pride-I hate it.

There aren't many things I hate in life...but I sure hate pride.
  Here is the background on how pride snuck up on me tonight:
     My dear friend's baby shower is tomorrow, and I love her and her husband very much. And I love their baby girl already, even though I haven't met her yet! And I am so excited! I love blessing the people that I love! Especially the selfless, caring, sweet, wonderful people that I know! So I finish wrapping her present tonight when I get home from going out for another one of my dear friend's birthdays (busy weekend!)
     Anyway, this will not come as a surprise to those who know me, but I put together a basket for her. I love making baskets! They are so pretty and so personal because you can really put thought into what you get for someone! I have made wine baskets and "kitchen" baskets for wedding showers, a "honeymoon survival" basket for a friend (that honeymoon weekend made a baby! hehe) and I have made baby gift baskets before. Its fun for me, and I really love and enjoys watching my friends and family opening them and enjoying their gifts...and I love knowing that what is in the baskets are useful gifts. It is a way that I show my love. But I don't do it with pride, I do it with all of the love in my heart...
     Now back to the basket I made. As I sat there yesterday and put all of the gifts that I picked out thoughtfully into the pretty little basket lined with pink gingham...I thought of this couple at Church. Now, we all have them...we loath ourselves for loathing them...but we have them...those people in our lives that we secrectly compete with and secretly feel contempt for. There may be no reason for it, they may not even know you exist...but they do exist and for some reason, you feel that you must compete with them...even if you don't talk to them, or know much about them...there they are...
     So I have this couple...and I'm wrapping my dear friend's gift...and I think to myself...I hope my gift is better than hers...and this is horrible...I am not this person...I hate this part of my person...and then I think...well it has to be prettier--because its a basket...ugh...and I pray. "God, please stop the pride. I do not want to be prideful" These people don't even know I exist (by the way, I don't think my husband 'competes' with them...just I do). These people have their own life, and family and careers and everything else. This is my battle and my struggle.
     And even as I sit here, I hate myself for it. And I'm disgusted with those thoughts...and I have no idea how to get rid of them. So tomorrow, I will still probably feel it. And I'll gloat if my gift is prettier and better...and if it isn't...I don't know what...I'm competing with a person that doesn't even have me on her radar...and what's more? Its not like she is richer, or prettier, or further ahead in her career....and the things she has...I don't want....her husband isn't more successful or better looking or any nicer than mine, and yes, she has kids, but instead of focusing on having a family I got my Master's degree, because I knew I didn't want to do it in the opposite order (I don't have 'insane' stamped on my forehead).  I'm totally happy with my life, I know that God has blessed me and even just tonight I was telling my husband that I had everything I wanted and I was completely happy with out lot in life....so why do I feel these pangs of jealously and this awful retched feeling towards this poor woman?
     And the only answer I have is....the devil made me do it...do I give him too much credit? Maybe...but since there is no logical reason...and I know that I should be happy for this couple...that is my only explanation for it...so tomorrow...who knows if this pride with turn me into the vain, competitive, snot that I am right...but I hope not...I hope the hour and a half of prayer and worship before the baby shower will do me some good and snuff this out. Here goes nothing!

Oh and here is the basket I made...just cause its pretty!

Posting this a little late but needs to be said

     On Friday of last week I heard something very disturbing on the morning news. A high school about a half hour away from me was putting on the play "The Laramie Project"--a play about Matthew Shepherd, the young man who was tortured and murdered for being gay in 1998. A church from Kansas decided that wherever this play was being produced, they would picket. They stated in an interview that "you may not talk about God without talking about his hatred."
     First of all, let me say, that as a high school teacher, I give major credit to the students of that high school. Most kids are afraid of homosexuality because it is different. They are just as scared of being different as any person on the social edges and if they say that homosexuality is okay, or tolerated, then they are setting themselves up as well. Kids are scared of having the spotlight on themselves but those kids that participated in that play are amazing for volunteering to be center stage on an issue that is so controversial!
     Now, I am disgusted by that Church. I am a Christian. I am proud to be a Christian. But I am not proud that those people call themselves Christians too. Jesus would tell them to go home. He did in the Bible when the prostitute was being persecuted for her sins. He told them that if they were without sin they could throw the first stone (John 8:2-11 ). This is the Jesus I know and follow. When Jesus came to earth this is what He said to us: "As for the person who hears my words but does not keep them, I do not judge him. For I did not come to judge the world, but to save it." John 12:47
     Jesus sits on the throne of judgment. I do not. Judges that are appointed by the governing courts of a country are entitled to judge. I am not.
     Jesus told me to love. He said "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." (John 13:34)
     So why are there Christians out there preaching this message of hate? It makes me sad. It makes me really sad. It makes me really sad for Matthew Shepherd and his family and friends. It makes me really sad for anyone who has been a victim of a hate crime. It makes me really sad for people out there who struggle with their sexuality and feel condemned by Christians.
     The majority of us don't hate you. God did not teach us a message of hate. God taught us to love you. God did not teach us a message of judgment. It is not our job to judge.
     I'm not going to get into my beliefs on the subject because that is not the point of this post. The point is--this church full of Christians from Kansas should look at themselves before they preach "God's message of hate." As Christians we should daily preach God's message of love. As I remember very clearly, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
     This scripture does not include a footnote that says, "except for homosexual people" it says "the world." So we must love all the people in the world too, even if we don't agree, even if we don't like someone, even if someone's moral choice are not our own. It doesn't matter. We must love the whole entire population because God did and told us to as well.
Here is the link to the article: http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2010/10/28/as_framingham_high_stages_controversial_play_a_teachable_moment/

Frustration turns into Calm

    I was just so frustrated with a situation that my husband and I are dealing with now and was ready to chop someones head off. I made a call, left a message and within a few minutes I got a call back from someone who was able to quickly calm my fears, my stress and my anxiety. I have known this woman since High School, and she was always one of the nicest, sweetest girls I know and to see her turn into this reassuring, calming, sweet women is such a blessing! I love when living angels come to us to show us God's grace and mercy! I voiced my fears, my frustrations and my concerns and my friend was able to more me towards the resolution that I felt was the leading of God! It is so amazing to feel the peace wash over you as you trust in His plan for everything!

Update

Just an update on everything.

My friend felt a lot of comfort this weekend during her Grandfather's funeral, so if you prayed it was felt and we are all thankful.

Everything is going well for us! We need more prayer between Wednesday and Friday so it is definitely appreciated!!!!

I was definitely tired on Sunday and things bettered themselves quickly so that was great!

Once again if you need prayer leave a comment! God Bless!

Prayers Please

     My best friend's family just lost their grandfather this week. He was a great man, funny, kind, sweet, loving and always their to give you a wink and nudge! What a light-hearted wonderful man he was! We knew that he was going to pass away soon and God gave her family the gift of one more week with him where he was lucid and awake and able to tell them how much they meant. Please pray for his 7 children, 14 grandchildren and countless children in-laws and others who will miss Pape's. We love you!
     Another friend is going through a crisis as well. I don't know major details because I haven't been able to get a mutual friend on facebook this week, but please just pray for her healing and comfort in this trial in her life.
     This weekend my husband and I are also awaiting big things,  please keep us in your prayers as well! (Especially on Sunday morning!)
     If anyone has prayer requests, leave them here so we can all pray together for the needs of God's people.


I hope everyone has a great weekend and we will keep you posted on the big things!!!
God Bless!

Phillipians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Heartfelt and touching blog post from a Sister in Christ

http://achocolatebouquet.blogspot.com/2010/10/take-time-to-evaluate.html

I just read this post and I know it is very meaningful in my life, so please check it out and see if God touches your heart with it too.

God Moves

     I just got home from a Praise, Worship and Healing evening at Church. At the very end of the service the Pastor turns to me and says, "Young lady will you please come up here?" Yeah....God called me out. He knew I needed prayer, He knew I needed guidance and love and movement in my life. So He called me out in a room full of strangers. And then I remembered, those strangers are really my family in Christ. And they love me, because Jesus died on the Cross for me--for all of us--to make us a family.
     Like the leper, I needed God's touch tonight. I didn't receive any specific word, or direction and we didn't see a great healing or lightning or a dove. But I felt love. And love is what I needed.
     I grew up in a Church filled with the movement of the Holy Spirit and I spent 5 months in YWAM watching people be healed and be saved. But all that happened years ago. It has been a long time since I have felt God move personally in my life--and tonight He did and thats all He wanted to do, was to let me know that He stills moves in my life and He is still invested in me. I missed Him and I was lonely. Sometimes we are in a desert and we're supposed to be there for some reason. And when the rain comes it is amazing.
     This has been a hard week. I don't ever let on when I'm upset...I do, but not in healthy ways. I don't let it affect me because I'm used to letting everything roll off my back. But this week, people who were supposed to be my friends have disowned me, people I trusted broke my trust, people who I never said a bad word about spoke badly of me....people who I thought were worth it, said that I wasn't. And on top of all that, I'm hormonal, and moody and struggling with my hurt back. And then hubby and I are struggling because I'm moody and hormonal and struggling with my back...its all connected right?
     And God loves me so much, that He called me out and let me cry in front of strangers, who prayed for me, and laid hands on me, and were generous with blessing me...because God knew that I needed to know that I was worth something. He is so amazing and wonderful and perfect in all He does. I am so thankful that He is my God and my Savior and my Lord. He is the Prince of Peace and the King of Kings and the greatest Healer the world has ever known. And He died on a Cross for little old me...amazing.

Hmmmm....

     Did you ever arrive somewhere, just to ask yourself "How did I get here?" This could be about a car ride, a walk, a place or a moment in your life. Lately I've been asking myself this more and more. And it isn't always a bad thing when I ask myself. It could be something as simple as having a nice lunch with a friend and you wonder, how did I get so lucky to have such a good friend?
     There have been a lot of changes in my world recently. From graduating with a Master's degree to planning a family, to even buying new furniture things have changed very rapidly this passed year. They say that the first year of marriage is hard--for us it was a breeze. They say that when you have children its hard--well we aren't there yet. But sometimes things in life can just stress a marriage out. And some days we are at that point where we asked ourselves..how did we get here? How did a silly conversation turn into a fight? How did a conversation a week ago about the dishes case the evening to end so badly? How did the traffic that we are sitting in turn into us not talking to each other through the entire store? Stress in a marriage is natural and there are ups and downs. We have been together long enough to know that sometimes we will hit a rough patch, there will be a whole week where we fight everyday and then there will be a great patch where we don't fight for months and we are so in love during those times. When we get to that point where we say "How did we get here?" Whether it be good or bad, sometimes we forget to reflect back on the journey that led us to that good point or that bad point. And we forget that we get through our bad parts and move onto those parts that make our marriage as amazing as it is.
     So I sit here in the kitchen and wonder, how did I get here? Somedays I ask Why am I so tired? or How did I get so lucky? And tonight its, why am I so tired? why am I blogging instead of cooking dinner? how did teasing become an argument? and is my friend coming to worship with me tonight? We ask ourselves so many questions throughout the day. Sometimes we need to lay it at the foot of the Cross. Sometimes we need to take a break and be mindless so we don't drive ourselves crazy with the questions. And sometimes we need to examine how we got somewhere.
     For us, we struggle sometimes because we spent two years of our marriage with me in grad school and we are still majorly getting outselves back into rhythm. We also struggle because we walked out of a "lets just live our lives" phase into "wife in grad school" phase into a "planning" phase. We really enjoyed living with the come what may attitude and now we are trying to adjust. So we struggle, we bicker, sometimes we argue. But we make up everytime and we figure it out. And once the "planning" phase is over we will be able to look back and ask "how did we get here?" and we will cherish the journey and smile.

God's Love for Us

http://www.incourage.me/2010/10/holy-dance.html

I just read this post today and it touched my heart. How many of us walk through life, day in and day out and forget that God loves us?

Take a moment right now and listen to His voice. He whispers to us all day long and we, being the busy little humans that we are, forget to listen. This wonderful post reminds to do just that. Americans are probably some of the busiest people in the world and we rarely have time to listen to those that are right in front of us. Kids calling to us, "Mommy, Mommy" or in my case "Miss, Miss." Husbands, wives, friends, parents, nieces and nephews, bosses, coworkers, all day long we are bombarded from the people in our lives and the media and advertising, and music. We tend to block out half of what is right in front of us...no wonder we forget to listen to our still and silent Creator. Yet he is there, whispering, encouraging, sending little signs, and sometimes when we are lucky, yelling and knocking us over the head with a message.

So today, take my post as a sign. God is talking to you and He wants you to listen. He is telling you that He loves you, He cares for you, He wants to talk to you, He longs to be at the forefront of your life. Don't forget about Him, because He never forgets about you.

God Bless and look for the Sunset because our Jesus did that and that is a glorious thing!

So let us call today Whispering Wednesday and remember who whispers in our ear!

Friends...

     It has come to my attention that there has been some drama surrounding friendships in my group of friends. I will speak to what a friend is..because I believe it needs some clarification...
      I know not of what a friend isn't, but I know a lot about what a friend is. A true friend will be your cheerleader when you need them on your side. A true friend will never say a bad thing about you behind your back--if they need to talk to you about something they always will. A true friend (like a true love) will love you in spite of your faults--they will never expect you to change who you are. A true friend is one who is there at every happy moment and every heartbreaking moment without being asked. A true friend is loyal to a fault and will never support an injustice against you. A true friend is never fickle. A true friend is hurt when you are hurt and mad when you are mad. A true friend will listen to your deepest thoughts, desires and wishes.  A true friend will go out of their way for you without a thought...and they will never point out that it was out of their way. A true friend will do all of this and never expect it in return--even though their true friends will do all of this for them as well...not because they have to, but because it is just what you do.
     There are many other things that true friends do, but they are too numerous to list. When I think of my true friends, I only count a few, but it is not the number of friends I have that matters. It is the quality of those friendships.
     I do not write any of these words to be spiteful, because if you really knew me, you know I am not, nor have I ever been vindictive. I do not write these words to hurt, because it has never been my goal to hurt anyone...I am not that type of person. If you know me, you know that I am heartfelt, true, loyal, unselfish, frugal, corny, klutzy, honest (to a fault), talkative when I get nervous, open, moral, faithful, God-loving and full of joy. I am always willing to admit my mistakes and I hate fighting (even if sometimes I do). I get over things quickly because in the grand scheme of life, those little tiffs don't matter. Our lives go by much too quickly to hold grudges, to be mean and hurtful, and to pretend. I have lost people that have meant the world to me and I thank God that I never was fake in any way to those people...I will never be fake, I will always be honest and I will always live my life with my whole heart.

My Journey

     Welcome to my Journey! Today God gave me a verse, Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." If you are my close friend or family you know what my husband, Rich, and I have been struggling with. You know there have been some moral dillemmas that we have had to face. When it came down to it, my want and my need dictated our decision and my loving, sweet, wonderful husband has gone along with a choice that will effect us forever. As a Christian, I never thought I would make that choice. But then again, I never thought I would have to. Now before you jump to insane crazy conclusions, I will say this...no one was harmed, no one was hurt, and nothing was stolen.
     God has always put this want and this need into the front of my thoughts. It is a promise that He has given to me. This promise is the reason why I could make the decision I made without fear. Not all Christians would go my way. I would think that many who are in the more conservative camps would fight against me. But I have faced the moral dillemma and made my determination. The fact that God has persisted in His whisperings to me, that He is still so present in this Promise....that was all that I needed to know to continue on this path.
     My husband had resevations and fears. He fought with me. He pushed back. He reasoned. But ultimately, I knew that it was his fear mainly that we needed to overcome. One of my all time favorite Scriptures says "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7. I know that many humans live their lives in fear. But I have laid my fear at the Cross and truly have been blessed by God because of it. When I hurt, when I'm in a dangerous situation, when I'm faced with a major decision, I have no fears, but I truly believe that God will lead me, He will protect me, He will heal me. And even though my husband still fears for me, he is slowly accepting my confidence in God's plan. He is leaning on my decision and my faith and will continue to do so until God has fulfilled His promise to us. 
     Someday, those who read this blog and don't know me, will know what journey I've been on, and if it was just about me, I would share it all. But my husband is a much more private person than I am, and he would not appreciate it if I told everyone our business while we were going through it. So someday, maybe you will know and you will be able to relate to my journey...but maybe the mystery will pull you in and you will cheer us on as we go!