I won times 2!

So....


When I posted my last blog in March, my husband and I found out just how effective getting healthy can be! We found out right before I posted my last blog that I am pregnant! This has been a very, very long road for us. We tried fertility and that certainly didn't work and then we tried prayer. Good old fashioned, "When God wants it, it will happen." And that is exactly when we got pregnant!


So needless to say the first trimester is over now and that is why I am posting. Not because we were keeping it a deep secret as all of our friends and family already know. But because I was just so tired and out of it for those few months that my day consisted of work, nap, make dinner, eat dinner, lay on the couch and go to sleep again. This interrupted by Church stuff and going out when necessary. That was about it.


So now, I am in my thirteenth week. We have seen the baby on ultrasound twice! And heard it's little heart beat! I am full of energy again--so much so that Saturday I prepped my veggie garde, planted 13 tomato plants, two squash plants, 6 green peppers, 6 japanese eggplants and watered all 5 gardens. Plus a trip to the garden fest, Home Depot, and CVS. I did then take a 2 hour nap, but it was necessary as we then went out with our friends for dinner in Waltham!


I am down to barely any naps during the week but still going to sleep at a reasonable hour as before baby, I was a night owl and midnigh was my usual bedtime!


We have yet to make changes to the house but once we get going on baby room plans, I will keep you posted!!!

Our little munchkin (9 weeks)

I won!

So after everything has been said and done, I won the fitness challenge! I get to split the money with one other person and the real prize is the fact that I'm actually in good shape! It has been a few years since I could say that!

Last week while we experienced record high temps for New England, I raked and cleaned my yard with my husband for four hours! I couldn't have done that last year! And I hiked Purgatory with one of my 12 year old students--I had to slow down for him! Then we went to the Zoo on Friday and all three of the kids in my group kept having to remind me to slow down! It is a very exciting thing when you are in better shape than your teenage students--and a little sad for them...but maybe their teacher being in good shape will inspire them to be as well!

I haven't lost a ton of weight--just five pounds and I'm in between sizes so my jeans fit really well when they are first washed then by the end of the day they are a bit saggy, but I can live with that!
A ton of people say my body shape has changed, and I think that is just as important as any weight loss. So here is to continuing to live a healthy lifestyle and keeping active!

My new focus for 2012

     Right now, I am focusing on some things I neglected in 2011 and I need to get back into them! These are not resolutions. Because resolutions absolutely do not work. These are motivations, life-style changes, things to focus on for my life.     Because of the big changes at work, I got overwhelmed, overtired and stressed. I stopped focusing on healthy eating (although it didn't get too too bad) and stopped even attempting to work out. We were a little active in NH, but the day we planned for a big hike was rainy and the next day was too wet to do the trip we had planned. Anyway, a few years ago, I discovered that I do very well with waking up at 5:30 in the morning a few days a week (2-3) and working out, I also make it a point to work out at least once on the weekend. I get in a great work out, rev my metabolism and start the day off right. I did this for 5 or 6 months and lost 30 pounds! Then I got the dreaded summer cold which killed all attempts at healthy living for a month and I lost my momentum. I maintained my healthy eating habits even though I didn't use weight watchers online religiously though and even lost another 5-10 pounds the following year and was keeping active (not as active, but pretty good). The thing was, I worked with a lot of health conscious people and my co-teacher for most of that year eats healthy and we held each other accountable. (Danielle is still a dear friend and I miss not working with her!) That year I also started a two year Master's Degree program which took up any free time I had (my husband used to joke with me--when I was on my way home or calling him to talk he'd say "Ahhh...my long lost wife). So I switched careers in 2009 and went from teaching little ones to teaching teenagers with emotional and behavioral disabilities. BIG CHANGE. I became the boss in the room, not the co-teacher and even though I adore my co-workers at my school, the support system of women you spend 8 hours a day with every day was lost. So I gained ten pounds, which I took off by doing Jenny Craig (with out exercise so it didn't really stick, but I looked great as a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding!)
 
This first one is seriously the best shot of my body during the wedding--The ten pounds I lost actually came off from my waist and back which really helped the dress fit beautifully! My legs have always been heavier and I've never liked wearing short things because it it. I am hoping exercising will thin my calves out a bit.
     I also started a 30-day cleanse for healthy living. I started on January 2, so it will last until January 31st. You cut out dairy, wheat, gluten, soy, sugar, peanuts and simple carbs like white potatoes, corn and white rice. In exchange, you eat whole foods, such as eggs, lean protein, brown rice, sweet potatoes, almonds (almond milk), etc... You are supposed to buy a shake from the company but I couldn't see spending $60 on a shake for one month so I bought a Hemp Protein shake and it is pretty good. I'm one and half days in and its actually doable. When I think about things I can't have I remind myself that it is only for 30 days and I can handle it. That's a pretty good way of looking at it. Anyone can do something for 30 days.
     After the thirty day I will eat healthy: three meals and two snacks. One of those snacks will be at 8 p.m. and I call it my planned snack. It keeps me from grazing and snacking all evening long. Right now that planned snack has been my protein shake made with almond milk. With the berries I put in it, it is only about 200 calories. Much less than most shakes like that and the perfect amount of calories for a snack (according to my nutritionist!) The worst thing about the 8 p.m. snack used to be when my husband would say "Are you supposed to be eating that?" Not a very supportive way of supporting his wife. This would just make me grumpy and make me feel like a rebellious child, so I would eat more when he went to sleep. So I'm punishing him, but hurting myself...that works. So now he and I have come up with language that doesn't upset me. If he's going to ask about what I eat in the evening (out of love and support) he will say "Is that you planned snack?" If it is, I can honestly and happily answer, "Yes it is" and if it isn't, he has adressed my eating in a healthy way. Maybe it isn't my planned snack, but I didn't eat enough during the day and I'm hungry. So maybe if he asks me in this way, I can make a smart choice instead of eating junk!
    Anyway, I've done it before, so I know I can do it now. I'm going to try to keep track of what I eat. I use a Nutrition tracker online and I know I don't need to be psycho about it like I used to with Weight Watchers because it was getting unhealthy to the point where I'd say, "How much can I eat for as little points as possible." I wasn't getting any nutrition per say, so it wasn't really great. Last night I had brown and wild rice, asparagus and 3 oz of pork loin and didn't finish the meat. I was full. It was enough and I got a little hungry around 7:45 so I had my shake at 8...I put it off by finishing the dinner dishes, getting in my pj's and putting out the dogs. Then I have a cup of decaf green tea. And when I went to bed, my stomach was telling me it was a little hungry, but to me, that's ok, because that means that my stomach is empty and the energy my body used to put into digesting food at night and making that food into fat can burn calories of the fat I already have! Now isn't that a new concept!
Here's to a healthier 2012!

Here are the links to different things mentioned in this article:
http://sandratillinghast.com/28daycleanseprogram.pdf This isn't the exact program I'm using, mine isn't quite as strict, but this is close!
https://www.arbonne.com/shop_online/showCatalog.asp?category=265 If you do want to use the Arbonne shakes and extras.
http://nutivahempshake.com/index.htm This is the shake I'm using!
http://www.weightwatchers.com/index.aspx This is how I lost 30 pounds the first go round. It works if you can be that disciplined to write ALL of your food down.
www.sparkpeople.com This is the free nutrition tracker I use. It can set up a diet program for you or you can put in your numbers yourself (this is the route I went since I got them from my nutritionist!)

A little perfect timing...

     So after my post yesterday, and Bible study that went right along with that post last night, I come along this blog that hits the nail exactly on the head...http://www.purposefulhomemaker.com/

     Gee, God loves divine appointments and giving us signs....we just have to keep our eyes open!

Being quiet and thanking God

     I've started a Bible study this week on Psalms. The first week's lesson in on being silent before God. listening to Him and then thanking Him for all of the blessing you've received even if you are going through storms in life. I have slowly gotten into the habit of talking at God and not talking with Him. This has led to lukewarm prayer times and a feeling of disconnectedness. So last night after I completed my Bible study, cuddled with hubby during T.V. time, gotten some chores done and was finally in bed, I said the Our Father as always and then I quieted my mind, shut my mouth and sat still and quiet before God. It was hard to do but I realized I'd been waiting for God's plans for me, without listening for them. Well. how can He tell me his plans if I'm not listening?
     So I waited....and it wasn't long before God talked to me--with passion, with conviction, without condemnation but He definitely schooled me. I listened, I heard, I realized what I was totally unaware of.  I was not being totally honest with Him or with myself. I said, I will follow your plans....but I wasn't giving everything over to Him. I handed him my career, but not my marriage...not like I should. I handed him my Church life, but not my life with family and friends. And it's not like I actually controlled this stuff either. I'm the go along type. I go along with life and live it. I don't think about it, I don't consciously change anything. I just live. So sometimes listening to God opens up a whole can of worms. It gives us much to think about. It reminds us that He cares and listens to everything even when we don't think He is. We just need to give Him a chance to talk too. So I feel asleep listening to God and not talking at Him but responding to Him.
     Then I woke up, and instead of complaining that it was Monday (a little storm but one we all face every week), I thanked Him. It started my day off on a better foot. And when I realized I'd overslept by ten minutes, I wasn't angry. I just said, Oh well, shorter shower. And I went on my way. Thanking God this morning helped me focus on the positives in life and not the tiny minuscule negative things I face. Go figure.

Pride-I hate it.

There aren't many things I hate in life...but I sure hate pride.
  Here is the background on how pride snuck up on me tonight:
     My dear friend's baby shower is tomorrow, and I love her and her husband very much. And I love their baby girl already, even though I haven't met her yet! And I am so excited! I love blessing the people that I love! Especially the selfless, caring, sweet, wonderful people that I know! So I finish wrapping her present tonight when I get home from going out for another one of my dear friend's birthdays (busy weekend!)
     Anyway, this will not come as a surprise to those who know me, but I put together a basket for her. I love making baskets! They are so pretty and so personal because you can really put thought into what you get for someone! I have made wine baskets and "kitchen" baskets for wedding showers, a "honeymoon survival" basket for a friend (that honeymoon weekend made a baby! hehe) and I have made baby gift baskets before. Its fun for me, and I really love and enjoys watching my friends and family opening them and enjoying their gifts...and I love knowing that what is in the baskets are useful gifts. It is a way that I show my love. But I don't do it with pride, I do it with all of the love in my heart...
     Now back to the basket I made. As I sat there yesterday and put all of the gifts that I picked out thoughtfully into the pretty little basket lined with pink gingham...I thought of this couple at Church. Now, we all have them...we loath ourselves for loathing them...but we have them...those people in our lives that we secrectly compete with and secretly feel contempt for. There may be no reason for it, they may not even know you exist...but they do exist and for some reason, you feel that you must compete with them...even if you don't talk to them, or know much about them...there they are...
     So I have this couple...and I'm wrapping my dear friend's gift...and I think to myself...I hope my gift is better than hers...and this is horrible...I am not this person...I hate this part of my person...and then I think...well it has to be prettier--because its a basket...ugh...and I pray. "God, please stop the pride. I do not want to be prideful" These people don't even know I exist (by the way, I don't think my husband 'competes' with them...just I do). These people have their own life, and family and careers and everything else. This is my battle and my struggle.
     And even as I sit here, I hate myself for it. And I'm disgusted with those thoughts...and I have no idea how to get rid of them. So tomorrow, I will still probably feel it. And I'll gloat if my gift is prettier and better...and if it isn't...I don't know what...I'm competing with a person that doesn't even have me on her radar...and what's more? Its not like she is richer, or prettier, or further ahead in her career....and the things she has...I don't want....her husband isn't more successful or better looking or any nicer than mine, and yes, she has kids, but instead of focusing on having a family I got my Master's degree, because I knew I didn't want to do it in the opposite order (I don't have 'insane' stamped on my forehead).  I'm totally happy with my life, I know that God has blessed me and even just tonight I was telling my husband that I had everything I wanted and I was completely happy with out lot in life....so why do I feel these pangs of jealously and this awful retched feeling towards this poor woman?
     And the only answer I have is....the devil made me do it...do I give him too much credit? Maybe...but since there is no logical reason...and I know that I should be happy for this couple...that is my only explanation for it...so tomorrow...who knows if this pride with turn me into the vain, competitive, snot that I am right...but I hope not...I hope the hour and a half of prayer and worship before the baby shower will do me some good and snuff this out. Here goes nothing!

Oh and here is the basket I made...just cause its pretty!

Frustration turns into Calm

    I was just so frustrated with a situation that my husband and I are dealing with now and was ready to chop someones head off. I made a call, left a message and within a few minutes I got a call back from someone who was able to quickly calm my fears, my stress and my anxiety. I have known this woman since High School, and she was always one of the nicest, sweetest girls I know and to see her turn into this reassuring, calming, sweet women is such a blessing! I love when living angels come to us to show us God's grace and mercy! I voiced my fears, my frustrations and my concerns and my friend was able to more me towards the resolution that I felt was the leading of God! It is so amazing to feel the peace wash over you as you trust in His plan for everything!

Some things I learned

     This weekend has become a testament to the strength of love and how sincerity and strength and perseverance can push that love beyond a stumbling block to making you productive, full of joy and on the way to some good old fashioned healing and reconnecting!
     I also learned that we had WAY too much stuff crammed into my husband's closet and it felt so nice to clean it out, organize it and store it neatly in space bags (which are so fun to use!) You can actually walk in his closet now and see the floor--I forget what color that rug was!
     And I also learned that it is so special to have friends who are as excited for you as you are for yourself!

Thank you my loves for a wonderful weekend!

God Moves

     I just got home from a Praise, Worship and Healing evening at Church. At the very end of the service the Pastor turns to me and says, "Young lady will you please come up here?" Yeah....God called me out. He knew I needed prayer, He knew I needed guidance and love and movement in my life. So He called me out in a room full of strangers. And then I remembered, those strangers are really my family in Christ. And they love me, because Jesus died on the Cross for me--for all of us--to make us a family.
     Like the leper, I needed God's touch tonight. I didn't receive any specific word, or direction and we didn't see a great healing or lightning or a dove. But I felt love. And love is what I needed.
     I grew up in a Church filled with the movement of the Holy Spirit and I spent 5 months in YWAM watching people be healed and be saved. But all that happened years ago. It has been a long time since I have felt God move personally in my life--and tonight He did and thats all He wanted to do, was to let me know that He stills moves in my life and He is still invested in me. I missed Him and I was lonely. Sometimes we are in a desert and we're supposed to be there for some reason. And when the rain comes it is amazing.
     This has been a hard week. I don't ever let on when I'm upset...I do, but not in healthy ways. I don't let it affect me because I'm used to letting everything roll off my back. But this week, people who were supposed to be my friends have disowned me, people I trusted broke my trust, people who I never said a bad word about spoke badly of me....people who I thought were worth it, said that I wasn't. And on top of all that, I'm hormonal, and moody and struggling with my hurt back. And then hubby and I are struggling because I'm moody and hormonal and struggling with my back...its all connected right?
     And God loves me so much, that He called me out and let me cry in front of strangers, who prayed for me, and laid hands on me, and were generous with blessing me...because God knew that I needed to know that I was worth something. He is so amazing and wonderful and perfect in all He does. I am so thankful that He is my God and my Savior and my Lord. He is the Prince of Peace and the King of Kings and the greatest Healer the world has ever known. And He died on a Cross for little old me...amazing.

Hmmmm....

     Did you ever arrive somewhere, just to ask yourself "How did I get here?" This could be about a car ride, a walk, a place or a moment in your life. Lately I've been asking myself this more and more. And it isn't always a bad thing when I ask myself. It could be something as simple as having a nice lunch with a friend and you wonder, how did I get so lucky to have such a good friend?
     There have been a lot of changes in my world recently. From graduating with a Master's degree to planning a family, to even buying new furniture things have changed very rapidly this passed year. They say that the first year of marriage is hard--for us it was a breeze. They say that when you have children its hard--well we aren't there yet. But sometimes things in life can just stress a marriage out. And some days we are at that point where we asked ourselves..how did we get here? How did a silly conversation turn into a fight? How did a conversation a week ago about the dishes case the evening to end so badly? How did the traffic that we are sitting in turn into us not talking to each other through the entire store? Stress in a marriage is natural and there are ups and downs. We have been together long enough to know that sometimes we will hit a rough patch, there will be a whole week where we fight everyday and then there will be a great patch where we don't fight for months and we are so in love during those times. When we get to that point where we say "How did we get here?" Whether it be good or bad, sometimes we forget to reflect back on the journey that led us to that good point or that bad point. And we forget that we get through our bad parts and move onto those parts that make our marriage as amazing as it is.
     So I sit here in the kitchen and wonder, how did I get here? Somedays I ask Why am I so tired? or How did I get so lucky? And tonight its, why am I so tired? why am I blogging instead of cooking dinner? how did teasing become an argument? and is my friend coming to worship with me tonight? We ask ourselves so many questions throughout the day. Sometimes we need to lay it at the foot of the Cross. Sometimes we need to take a break and be mindless so we don't drive ourselves crazy with the questions. And sometimes we need to examine how we got somewhere.
     For us, we struggle sometimes because we spent two years of our marriage with me in grad school and we are still majorly getting outselves back into rhythm. We also struggle because we walked out of a "lets just live our lives" phase into "wife in grad school" phase into a "planning" phase. We really enjoyed living with the come what may attitude and now we are trying to adjust. So we struggle, we bicker, sometimes we argue. But we make up everytime and we figure it out. And once the "planning" phase is over we will be able to look back and ask "how did we get here?" and we will cherish the journey and smile.

God's Love for Us

http://www.incourage.me/2010/10/holy-dance.html

I just read this post today and it touched my heart. How many of us walk through life, day in and day out and forget that God loves us?

Take a moment right now and listen to His voice. He whispers to us all day long and we, being the busy little humans that we are, forget to listen. This wonderful post reminds to do just that. Americans are probably some of the busiest people in the world and we rarely have time to listen to those that are right in front of us. Kids calling to us, "Mommy, Mommy" or in my case "Miss, Miss." Husbands, wives, friends, parents, nieces and nephews, bosses, coworkers, all day long we are bombarded from the people in our lives and the media and advertising, and music. We tend to block out half of what is right in front of us...no wonder we forget to listen to our still and silent Creator. Yet he is there, whispering, encouraging, sending little signs, and sometimes when we are lucky, yelling and knocking us over the head with a message.

So today, take my post as a sign. God is talking to you and He wants you to listen. He is telling you that He loves you, He cares for you, He wants to talk to you, He longs to be at the forefront of your life. Don't forget about Him, because He never forgets about you.

God Bless and look for the Sunset because our Jesus did that and that is a glorious thing!

So let us call today Whispering Wednesday and remember who whispers in our ear!

My Journey

     Welcome to my Journey! Today God gave me a verse, Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." If you are my close friend or family you know what my husband, Rich, and I have been struggling with. You know there have been some moral dillemmas that we have had to face. When it came down to it, my want and my need dictated our decision and my loving, sweet, wonderful husband has gone along with a choice that will effect us forever. As a Christian, I never thought I would make that choice. But then again, I never thought I would have to. Now before you jump to insane crazy conclusions, I will say this...no one was harmed, no one was hurt, and nothing was stolen.
     God has always put this want and this need into the front of my thoughts. It is a promise that He has given to me. This promise is the reason why I could make the decision I made without fear. Not all Christians would go my way. I would think that many who are in the more conservative camps would fight against me. But I have faced the moral dillemma and made my determination. The fact that God has persisted in His whisperings to me, that He is still so present in this Promise....that was all that I needed to know to continue on this path.
     My husband had resevations and fears. He fought with me. He pushed back. He reasoned. But ultimately, I knew that it was his fear mainly that we needed to overcome. One of my all time favorite Scriptures says "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7. I know that many humans live their lives in fear. But I have laid my fear at the Cross and truly have been blessed by God because of it. When I hurt, when I'm in a dangerous situation, when I'm faced with a major decision, I have no fears, but I truly believe that God will lead me, He will protect me, He will heal me. And even though my husband still fears for me, he is slowly accepting my confidence in God's plan. He is leaning on my decision and my faith and will continue to do so until God has fulfilled His promise to us. 
     Someday, those who read this blog and don't know me, will know what journey I've been on, and if it was just about me, I would share it all. But my husband is a much more private person than I am, and he would not appreciate it if I told everyone our business while we were going through it. So someday, maybe you will know and you will be able to relate to my journey...but maybe the mystery will pull you in and you will cheer us on as we go!